Thirty is the new...

Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:00 pm

True or False: 30 is too old for Facebook.

Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:03 pm

the only friends of mine on facebook seem to be in their 30s

Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:16 pm

False, 30 is the perfect age to stalk the 17 yr olds.

Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 10:58 pm

Why do all of your moral dilemmas involve 30 year olds? First you bag on my free cable, then you make me question having a facebook page???

I don't count anyone as a true friend unless I'm friends with them on facebook AND on myspace.

Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 11:02 pm

ms. cellany wrote:

Why do all of your moral dilemmas involve 30 year olds? First you bag on my free cable, then you make me question having a facebook page???

I don't count anyone as a true friend unless I'm friends with them on facebook AND on myspace.

So is that a yes?

I have cookies...

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 12:57 am

This may be the pivotal bargument. I think this one ties together quite a few of the barguments posted here exposing Mac's master plan.

You see, facebook was invented for 30 somethings. It's THE place to reconnect with the "one you never banged", "the one that got away", "the prom queen", and whoever those other chicks were in that other bargument. Let's face it, it's a lot easier to post on a chick's wall "Hey baby! Wanna fuck???" than it was to proposition the homecoming queen on prom night when you're standing in front of her and actually have to say the words.

It's fun to look at people you knew when you were younger who now have one permanently shaved eyebrow. And you can't believe it. When you used to hang out at your Mom's watching CHiPs and Dukes of Hazzard and before that Saturday morning cartoons. How could you have ever guessed that this fucker would shave one eyebrow.

Then came the teen years when you learned how to steal cable to watch MTV and discovered metal and punk, and you used to fight about which was better and who was better, the Misfits or Guns 'N' Roses or AC/DC. Then came the big argument of '89, the straw that broke the camel's back is it were. Which was the superior Rock album? This is the one that broke you apart from your best friend who now has only one hairily festooned eye.

So, level with us Mac? Who you trying to reconnect with?

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 7:54 am

Okay, Joey, I gotta come clean. I've been trying to figure out a way to tell you easily, but since you've figured out this much, well, here goes. The truth is, I'm your father. Yep, you are the love child of me and Maggie Seaver. I was hanging at the Boar's Nest one evening, playing Trivial Pursuit with Ponch and Jon, and she just walked in. Well, we started talking, discussing our favorite Judd Apatow flick, and I decided to seal the deal when I whipped out my always fat free package of Red Vines.

A bottle of Cabo Wabo later, well, it was done. We kept it together for a while, but eventually just grew apart, and one day that fucking Dr. Jason shows up with a 2 lb. package of Twizzlers, a bottle of tequila, and a 2 liter of Squirt soda. Man, how could I compete with action like that? We decided that neither of us were very crazy about you, so we gave you up. Sorry, but shit happens.

Anyway, I thought you deserved the truth, but I wanted to ease you into it. I hope this doesn't hurt too much, and I apologize for the whole Bama thing, really.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 11:50 am

BigMac wrote:

Okay, Joey, I gotta come clean. I've been trying to figure out a way to tell you easily, but since you've figured out this much, well, here goes. The truth is, I'm your father. Yep, you are the love child of me and Maggie Seaver. I was hanging at the Boar's Nest one evening, playing Trivial Pursuit with Ponch and Jon, and she just walked in. Well, we started talking, discussing our favorite Judd Apatow flick, and I decided to seal the deal when I whipped out my always fat free package of Red Vines.

A bottle of Cabo Wabo later, well, it was done. We kept it together for a while, but eventually just grew apart, and one day that fucking Dr. Jason shows up with a 2 lb. package of Twizzlers, a bottle of tequila, and a 2 liter of Squirt soda. Man, how could I compete with action like that? We decided that neither of us were very crazy about you, so we gave you up. Sorry, but shit happens.

Anyway, I thought you deserved the truth, but I wanted to ease you into it. I hope this doesn't hurt too much, and I apologize for the whole Bama thing, really.

Dammit, Maggie Seaver and Cellany? How the hell does he do it? I can't wait to get old like Mac!

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 1:03 pm

Jizzay wrote:

Dammit, Maggie Seaver and Cellany? How the hell does he do it? I can't wait to get old like Mac!

Did I not ever tell you about Flo, the Progressive.com chick?

Oh, well, maybe later...

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 1:51 pm

BigMac wrote:

We decided that neither of us were very crazy about you, so we gave you up. Sorry, but shit happens.

Anyway, I thought you deserved the truth, but I wanted to ease you into it. I hope this doesn't hurt too much, and I apologize for the whole Bama thing, really.

This is some awesome shit.

I knew it had to be something like that. Oh, Maggie Seaver, you alabaster temptress you, how you have betrayed me.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 2:55 pm

ms. cellany wrote:

I don't count anyone as a true friend unless I'm friends with them on facebook AND on myspace.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 5:05 pm

I love all you guys!!!

And, no, I am not gay or drunk!!

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 5:27 pm

BigMac wrote:

ms. cellany wrote:

I don't count anyone as a true friend unless I'm friends with them on facebook AND on myspace.

Yep, sorry, I took a poll and 100% of people said 45 is too old for either site. Confused

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 5:42 pm

ms. cellany wrote:

BigMac wrote:

ms. cellany wrote:

I don't count anyone as a true friend unless I'm friends with them on facebook AND on myspace.

Yep, sorry, I took a poll and 100% of people said 45 is too old for either site. Confused

The Rasch model is not statistically significant with a sample population of one.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 6:13 pm

BigMac wrote:

ms. cellany wrote:

BigMac wrote:

ms. cellany wrote:

I don't count anyone as a true friend unless I'm friends with them on facebook AND on myspace.

Yep, sorry, I took a poll and 100% of people said 45 is too old for either site. Confused

The Rasch model is not statistically significant with a sample population of one.

I asked all 13.4 of my other personalities and they agreed 100%: 45 is too old.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:20 pm

ms. cellany wrote:

I asked all 13.4 of my other personalities and they agreed 100%: 45 is too old.

So you are having barguments with yourself. Hmmm, how many cats do you have?

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 9:23 pm

BigMac wrote:

ms. cellany wrote:

I asked all 13.4 of my other personalities and they agreed 100%: 45 is too old.

So you are having barguments with yourself. Hmmm, how many cats do you have?

Hey, when I have a beer, all the personalities have one too. Thus, barguments.

And yes, thesis work requires beer in quantity. Very Happy

No cats, unless you count the landladys' (the apostrophe is for therm, because I have 2 landladies) cat who likes to visit and demand attention. Poor thing has kitty AIDS though.

There you go, bargument AND random thoughts... bonus.

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 9:40 pm

ms. cellany wrote:

BigMac wrote:

ms. cellany wrote:

I asked all 13.4 of my other personalities and they agreed 100%: 45 is too old.

So you are having barguments with yourself. Hmmm, how many cats do you have?

Hey, when I have a beer, all the personalities have one too. Thus, barguments.

And yes, thesis work requires beer in quantity. Very Happy

No cats, unless you count the landladys' (the apostrophe is for therm, because I have 2 landladies) cat who likes to visit and demand attention. Poor thing has kitty AIDS though.

There you go, bargument AND random thoughts... bonus.

if it werent for 30 + ppl on there there wouldnt be much happening on the site

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 9:48 pm

Buzard wrote:

if it werent for 30 + ppl on there there wouldnt be much happening on the site

Hi Buzz, nice to see you back!

30+-ers ftw!

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 10:05 pm

JoeyFingers wrote:

I knew it had to be something like that. Oh, Maggie Seaver, you alabaster temptress you, how you have betrayed me.

Don't hate her too much, she was young, and those Canucks are so damned irresistable, she never had a chance.

Wait, you're upset about how we dropped you at that trailer park. I swear we had no idea that the Skynyrd festival was the same week. You were found eventually, stop whining! I remember why we left you now...

Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 10:09 pm

ms. cellany wrote:

No cats, unless you count the landladys' (the apostrophe is for therm, because I have 2 landladies) cat who likes to visit and demand attention. Poor thing has kitty AIDS though.

The landladies' cat obviously realizes, well, ummm, never mind, just start buying litter boxes now. They will come in handy soon.